Sleepless In Iowa City

Here's how my night went (and this is pretty typical):

11:00pm - went to bed, but laid awake for close to an hour, thinking about when Max was going to wake up.

12:30am - Max cries, just as I'm starting to sleep good. Husband chivalrously goes in and comforts him - not sure if this was the pat the back method, or the pick up and hold method. In any case he's back in bed in 10 minutes or so. Or at least it seemed like 10 minutes, from my snuggy vantage point. :)

3:00am - Max cries, I go in, he's on his back - not how he wants to sleep - roll him over, pat his back until he stops squirming and goes back to sleep, applying just enough pressure that even though he tries to roll back over, he can't. I'm back in bed in 10 minutes or so.

4:30am - Will is crying in his bed. I go in and his arm has fallen asleep. I rub his arm, hand and fingers until the pain stops. I stop at Max's door, and listen for any sign that he's woken up. I hear nothing. I tell him "I'll see you in half an hour, when you wake up." Ok, I didn't really tell him that, but I sure thought that.

5:00am - sure enough, just as I'm sleeping good, Max is crying, this time I know he's hungry. Feed him a bottle. Curse the fact that there is NOTHING on TV between the hours of 3-5am except infomercials. Max falls asleep. Lay him down, spits up in his bed, rolls over and is awake. Pick him up, burp some more, lay him down asleep. Spits up again, pick him up, burp some more, this time rock in rocking chair awhile. Contemplate whether or not there is a puddle-free area of the bed to lay him on, or whether to wake Damon up to change the sheet. Decide to let Damon sleep - you can thank me later, honey. Actually you can thank me tonight, when YOU get up with him, instead of me!? :) Lay him down, asleep....he's still asleep....yep, still asleep. Contemplate why I get hungry in the middle of the night when I've been awakened. And yes, 5-6am is still the middle of the night, no matter what you early risers say. Have a cookie. Ok, and a glass of milk. Back in bed at 6am. Look at alarm. It's set for 7am. Start to cry. (Not really, but I wanted to. It would have been too much effort.) Reset alarm for 7:30.

7:20: Will comes in, wakes me up from my puddle of drool and says, "School's cancelled today, right?!" Tell him no! Look at clock and start to cry. Take 5 seconds to mourn the loss of 10 minutes of precious sleep. Tell Will to get dressed. Promptly fall back into deep sleep.

7:30am - alarm goes off, wakes me from deep dream. Seriously! Hit snooze. Don't care if Will is dressed or not. Promptly go back to sleep.

7:39am - snooze alarm goes off - ahh! Nine extra minutes of sleep made all the difference in the world! Not really. Decide I'd better get up and see what Will's up to. He's in front of the TV - in his pj's.

7:40am - it's time to make a mad dash to get ready for school!

8:20am - Will is out the door. No problem! Debate with myself whether I would have had time to hit the snooze button again.

8:21am - Ahh! What do I do now? Can I go back to bed? Depends on if Max is still sleeping. I don't hear him. Good! But first I need to check my email, and then see if Pioneer Woman picked my entry for her latest "name that photo" contest (she didn't), and then I'll just write this blog post. THEN maybe I'll crawl back in bed. Ohp! What's that on the monitor? Sounds like Max is awake. No sleepy for me.

Do you see why I'm always so tired?
Do you see why nothing creative is coming out of my brain?
Do you see why my house looks the way it does?
Do you see why Damon's always getting sick?
I could go on, but I won't. I have a baby to go get.